I’m a little worried about my aging mother. There is someone in her life that I think is taking money from her. Is this the kind of case a private investigator would handle? I’m not really sure where else to turn to at this point. Its not a family member or someone providing any care to her but its definitely got me worried.
Signed,
Worried about Mom
Dear Worried,
We handle many of these cases and you have a right to be worried. More and more seniors are being scammed for money, their possessions and their property. It’s good that you are paying attention. Some private investigation firms handle these types of cases and some do not. You want to make sure you find one like ours that has a specialty in this work. These cases are not easy and go beyond looking at fraud issues. There are often complex social, emotion and health issues related to seniors such as do they still have the capacity to make these financial decisions and if not what can be put into place to protect them and get the right resources in place. We take these cases very seriously and if you give us a call we can help you connect with an investigator in your area.
I really suspect my girlfriend might be cheating on me. She comes home late with no explanation and then immediately takes a shower and throws her clothes in the wash. She’s out on a lot of “girl’s nights” and even our sex life has pretty much stopped. Is she cheating?
Signed,
Cheated on?
Dear Cheated on,
Sorry that this is happening to you. Being cheated on or dealing with suspected cheating can be one of the more challenging things to deal with. Sometimes the not knowing is even harder to deal with than the truth. Obviously, I can’t say for certain if your girlfriend in cheating or not. Heck, she could be going to the gym. Really though, the things you are saying about her are definitely indicators of suspected cheating. It’s enough that you probably need to sit down and have a conversation with her about your relationship if you don’t plan on hiring a private investigator. If you do, don’t have a conversation with her just yet. This would be a perfect case for surveillance but that can really only happen if she feels free enough to continue her normal behavior. If she feels like she’s been alerted by your suspicion, she may stop or change her routine. Either way, there is no reason to live as you are living and you should make a serious decision about your relationship. Living with the suspicion of a cheating partner can take its toll emotionally and it really is better to know the truth.
I hired a PI awhile ago and it was the worst experience I ever had. Not only did I not get the evidence I needed, I think he took my money and didn’t do anything. I really need to get this evidence though so do you have any advice about how to hire the right private investigator?
Signed,
Feels Defrauded
Dear Fees Defrauded,
Sorry that you had such a bad experience. Here is what we can tell you. Do your research first! If you need a PI and will be working within the legal system, speak with your attorney for recommendations or requirements for choosing a PI. The same is true for all marital, custody or civil cases. Often your attorney will already be working with a PI that they can refer you to.
Make sure the private investigator has a license to investigate. The requirements for investigators vary from state to state. Don’t assume because someone has a sign that says they are licensed that they are in fact licensed. Ask to see a copy of their license. Use the free confidential assessment if one is offered. This is a way for both you and the PI to get to know one another and assess your case. Investigative firms often have specialties but that doesn’t mean they don’t also do general investigations. Make sure they can do what you are asking and they have experience doing it. Ask questions about their background and experience. Listen to what they are telling you, questions they are asking you. How will this person come across if they have to testify for you in court? This is the time for you to evaluate the PI as much as they are evaluating you and your case.
Make sure you feel comfortable with the private investigator. Ask if they will be working on your case of if it will be someone else in the office. Always remember you are an important witness in whatever case you have. The same level of attention to detail they give to the information you have to offer will often be reflective of the level of attention to detail they will give the entire case. The more they ask you questions and obtain your knowledge, the better prepared they will be to investigate. You are one of the most important interview they will do.
Always ask up front about hidden fees. Yes they may have an hourly rate of $70.00 but then there could be a charge for video, a per picture charge, possibly mileage and my favorite charge “supplies.” Make sure you receive an estimate on the overall charges for your case. Make sure you have a written contract that is clear and easy to understand.
Use your instincts. If you don’t feel like you can trust or feel comfortable with the PI in front of you, keep looking until you find a good match.
A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend and he keeps showing up wherever she goes, keeps calling her and pretty much won’t leave alone. The police weren’t really helpful when we called. What can she be doing to make him stop and protect herself?
Signed,
Good Friend
Dear Good Friend,
We are sorry this happening to your friend but its good she is paying attention to these early warning signs. This could be labeled as stalking and it’s important that she keep paying attention and take some important steps to protect herself. Here are some suggestions and remember to keep the police in the loop and/or seek out services of a private investigator or victim advocate for support.
Tip 1: Know your surroundings and begin to look at how safe she is at home, work and other places she frequents. Creating a plan for safety is important before something more serious could happen. Make sure to let friends, family and co-workers know about the situation.
Tip: 2: In order to have and build a legal case, he must hear or read on one occasion that she does not want any contact. This must be done only once. Any contact on her part after the no contact statement will only be viewed as hope and he will persist. He will assume if you break the no contact once, you may do it again and then will continue. Basically if he calls 17 times and she picks on the 18th call, he has now learned it takes 18 calls to get her reaction.
Tip 3: Document, Document, Document–Often it is up to the victim to start the evidence collection to generate a police report and legal case. It is important that she document everything that occurs. The time, date, type of contact and context of the contact should be recorded in a journal. Write down what happens and tell her to keep this with her. Save voice mails, e-mails, texts, instant messages and any other form of communication she receives.
Tip 4: Have her assess her technology use and how that factors in and make sure that she is not putting too much personal information over the Internet. Its one of the easiest, free ways people gather information.
These are just a few of the most basic tips. Remember there are professionals that can help. Call our offices if you want some resources in your local area.
I think there might be a private investigator following me. How can I make them stop?
Signed,
Annoyed
Dear Annoyed,
As long as the private investigator is not on private property without permission and they have a legitimate reason to be there, you don’t have much of a chance at getting them to stop. However, think about why you might have a private investigator following you. Are you cheating? Sharing custody of your children? Committing insurance fraud or waiting for an insurance settlement or on worker’s compensation? Are you a witness in a case or having pending litigation? If you are doing something that you probably shouldn’t be doing, stop! They will go away eventually — after they catch the evidence they need. And if you aren’t doing anything —-think of how boring it must be for them.
Do you have more cases of men or of women cheating? We always hear about men cheating in Hollywood and in the the news but I’m guessing women are cheating too.
Signed,
Curious
Dear Curious,
That is an interesting question because for our firm we actually have more men calling us suspecting that their wives/girlfriends are cheating then women calling us about their husbands/boyfriends. It may just be the name or our firm– Mission Possible Investigations connects more with men than women. I don’t know the national stats but I’m sure its evening out more than ever. Not to mention, that I think sometimes women don’t raise as many red flags when they cheat so we hear about it less.
Here’s just another thing to note, its not scientific or hard research but its just what we have seen. When women do call us, about 95% of the time the men are usually cheating and women make the choice to leave after we gather the evidence. When men call us about 75% of the women are actually cheating and usually men “what to make the relationship better” and don’t want to leave the women. It’s an interesting trend we have seen locally but we have no idea if it applies anywhere else or even if other PI firms are seeing the same thing.
I see all of these commercials and internet ads for background checks. Is it really that easy to get information about anyone? Those sites aren’t as expensive as some private investigators have told me it costs.
Signed,
Snooping on the Neighbors
Dear Snooping,
Have you ever heard the old adage “you get what you pay for”? That’s what you will end up with at those sites. The short answer is no, you won’t really be able to access criminal history and a full background check on those sites. You may be able to pull some past info that is/ was accurate like phone numbers and addresses. You might even be able to get some of the same current data. There is nothing the public or even private investigators can access that provides a national criminal history.
Pulling criminal history requires pulling data state by state and sometimes for the best accuracy jurisdiction by jurisdiction. Not to mention, that rarely will you pull accurate data without at least a birth date and sometimes even a social security number and rarely do we have all this info on our neighbors. There are even more laws around accurate credit histories too. Our advice, do yourself a favor and save your money.
If you really need a background check on someone, call a private investigator. It’s worth the money to pull accurate info.
What do you think about setting up stings to catch a cheating spouse? If I thought my husband was acting weird would you send in a decoy and see if he bites?
Signed,
Decoy or no?
Dear Decoy or No,
While we definitely think that there is the right time and place for undercover work, most cheating spouse cases are a definite no for us for decoy work. If you think your spouse is cheating there is a reason. We will work with you to figure out his schedule and conduct surveillance work watching him in his own environment, seeing who he interacts with and evaluate his fidelity without manipulating his environment.
We don’t need to trick, entice or otherwise manipulate your spouse to get the evidence we need. And we think your lawyer likes it better that way to…or least that’s what we’ve been told.
Can’t I just go out and get what I need on my own? If I thought my wife was cheating, couldn’t I just get a friend to follow her around? Why spend money to hire a PI?
Signed,
Why bother with a PI
Dear Why bother,
Well you could do that and then destroy any legal case you might have if she was cheating. You don’t mention which state you are in so I can’t direct you to the laws in your state. In most states you can’t just wake up and decide to be a private investigator. There are laws governing our work, experience requirements and in some states even a state licensing test. Our work is professional. We are called to testify to explain and defend the evidence we gather. How would your friend hold up under cross examination?
If your friend is found out (which is likely), your wife now knows you are suspicious and this could definitely ruin any chance you would ever have of gathering the evidence. Not to mention, investigators know the privacy and stalking laws. Private Investigators are a neutral third party that can gather evidence legally and professionally. There are many reasons not to do this on your own and the list could go on and on. Would you hire your friend to perform surgery for you? We didn’t think so. You’re best leaving a professional job to a professional.
I really think my live-in girlfriend is cheating on me and I’ve heard I can get some good stuff if I put a GPS tracker on her car. I was thinking I can sneak out one night and put it on no problem. What do you think?
Signed,
Thinking tech can help
Dear Thinking,
Stop! Before you go any further I have one important question—Is your name on your girlfriend’s vehicle? If the answer is no, drop the tracker. While you don’t mention what state you are living in, I can’t quote you the exact law but what I can tell you is most if not all states have some strict laws about the use of GPS tracking devices. If your name is not on the vehicle you can’t use it. Let’s also consider what you’d really get with it. You would know for the most part where her car goes but that’s it. You won’t know what she does when she gets to her destination or who if anyone she’s meeting. You won’t know if she leaves her car somewhere and in fact gets in someone’s car and drives away. It really doesn’t provide much information. We use them legally to augment an investigation not as the full investigation. It’s one tool in a full aresenal and nothing more.
If finding out if she is cheating is really important to you consider hiring a PI locally to do a little surveillance. This will provide you some information about exactly what your girlfriend is doing, who she is seeing and where she is going. You’ll have the details instead of the speculation and won’t be violating any laws. Write or call us, we’ll connect you with a PI in your area.
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